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Two and a half years ago I read a post on SingleBlackMale.org by SBM himself about his struggles with telling women about his blog. I’d link it, but I’m too lazy to search for the post and I don’t really want you going somewhere else when you’re reading my post. #NoShotsFellas Anyway, at the time I couldn’t grasp the problem. My girl at the time knew about my blog and the subsequent women I dealt with knew as well. Maybe it was because it a new blog. Maybe it was because I was brash and didn’t care. Or maybe it was because I had known these women long enough that I knew there wouldn’t be a problem. Either way, I’m now hesitant to tell women I meet about “Three Ways To Take It.” Not because I’m embarrassed, but because I don’t know how much of my life to share with them.

I write a lot on this blog – my current trials, my past, opinions, jokes, emotions and feelings and those things aren’t often shared with new friends. I would venture to say that some of you readers know as much of what has happened to me in the past 2 to 3 years as well as some of my friends. And my “real life” friends that read the blog consistently are more in tune with me than anyone else. It would be a lot to just open that door and let some woman I met into this world. She’d learn more than I’d like her to about me too quickly. And after thinking about it, I realized it’s just not the blog though. It extends to other areas on the web as well.

A former co-worker once told me that she didn’t friend the dude she had been seeing on Facebook for awhile because she didn’t want him in that world just yet. I was taken back a little because I don’t think you should have to hide anything from someone you’re dating. But then I remembered the women I dated who were “friended” instantly who suddenly made references to my exes, friends of mine and my escapades that they had seen in my pictures.

WTF?

I’ve literally had a couple girls I was seeing tell me my exes are beautiful. I’ve had other women make remarks about the pictures I’ve taken with women and how I must talk to a lot of them. Which is cool when it comes from a secure, mature woman, but not cool when it comes from a woman that’s emitting insecurities. It ain’t good for business. Sure I could block my page and all of that, but eff that, it’s too much trouble. It’s a long walk for a ham sandwich. Luckily for me, the only things shared on my Facebook profile page are my name and some pictures. Other people check-in every time they go somewhere, have ridiculous posts from friends and upload all types of emo things that make me SMH. That’s a lot of material an eff buddy or potential significant other could read to learn about you.

Do you really want to share all that with someone new? Maybe some don’t mind because they’re sharing it with all their 1,067 “friends” on the web, so what’s one more. To me, some things should be shared in time and with the right discussions. What do you think? Do you leave your personal life as an open e-book for all to view? Do you give limited access in the upfront and then open up later? Or do you not let anyone in until they’ve completely proven themselves? There is an underlying sex joke in there somewhere…